Somewhere in Between
by Darth Furby
Summary: Chapter two is finally completed. ^___^ Yamaki realizes some interesting things, all thanks to a bottle of pills finding their way into the bathroom trash. Offically rated R now, since this is becoming majorly twisted.
1. Losing Sleep Over This

A/N: You have stumbled into my first Tamers fic. This fic has several very bad things happen to the characters (especially poor Jen-chan), so it requires a bit of a warning. There IS a rape (nothing graphic, only shown in flashbacks and dream sequences), some nasty violence, and a bit of yaoi (that should be an obvious, considering who the author is ^-^;;;;). The reason I'm actually warning about the yaoi is because of WHO is being yaoi (and how they are going about it o.O). *ahem* ^_^; Let's just say it involves Yamaki-san, and split personalities. *cackle* Also, everyone is 18 (minus Yamaki who's like 30 o_o), and in their last year of high school.

The title is the name of a Lifehouse Song. You can find the lyrics here: http://www.lyricsstyle.com/l/lifehouse/somewhereinbetween.html.

Also, the dream sequences are in _italics_. So are thoughts, but since the two never happen at the same time, it shouldn't be confusing. It also has a shifting POV, but its always Li or Yamaki, and its chapter by chapter, rather than in chunks. This won't be an outright romance, but Reiko and Yamaki are seeing each other. She'll play a fairly important role in this at some point. She's too cool not to have her in here. Besides, who else is going to realize Yamaki is..er, not all there?

Li Jenrya (Henry)

Takato (um, Takato o_O)

Ruki (Rika)

Hirokazu (Kazu)

Kenta (err, Kenta?)

Reiko (Reilly ^^;)

Yamaki-san (Yamaki ^_^)

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Digimon Adventure/Tamers/Frontier. Not that I WANT to own Frontier. Nor do I own Yamaki-san, as much I wish I did.

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Somewhere in Between

chapter 1

_Hands. Cold, uncaring hands touching me. Hands I thought I knew and could trust. I could taste blood in my mouth from when he had initially knocked me down. The darkness of the ally made it near impossible for me to see anything, much less his face. I only knew who is was because of the small amount of light reflecting off of his sunglasses. He pulled away for a moment, licking his lips, before thrusting himself onto me again, this time pushing me into the wall so hard the bricks were cutting my face. He started kissing me, and putting his hands in places they didn't belong. I whimpered I bit, I think._

_"Oh, shut up. You know you like it."_

_I started to cry. He smiled and worked his hands down my body. I'm sure some unevolved, primal part of me was enjoying this, but the rest of me was stiff with fear. He must have noticed that my body was unresponsive to what he was doing._

_"Don't play games."_

_He slapped me, hard, across the face. Then he grabbed my right arm, turning me around and back into the wall in one violent motion. He must have broken my arm, because it went numb and hung limp at my side. He forced himself unto me again, but my knees buckled under his weight, and I fell backwards into the wall, hitting my head on the rough bricks. He didn't seem to mind. He smiled. I turned my face away from him; I don't he appreciated it. He grabbed my chin and turned my head sharply to face him._

_"Now, now. Is that really any way to behave? You know, the more you fight, the more it will hurt."_

_I started sobbing uncontrollably. His hands had found their way under my shirt, and were feeling around my chest. Without thinking, I turned my face away from him. He either ignored it, or didn't notice; I guess he was too involved with what was below my neck at this point to care about what my head was doing. His hands were moving down to my crotch; one fiddled with the zipper pull while the other was touching my backside. He pulled the zipper down and start touching what was underneath it._

_"Please...no...stop- "_

I sat up with a jolt. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock next to my bed. 3_:30 AM. I wonder if-_

"Li-kun?"

_Yep._

"Oha, Takato-kun."

"You were having a nightmare weren't you?"

"You could tell?"

"It was pretty obvious. You were shaking and crying. I almost woke you up, but the nurse wouldn't let me."

"Oh." I looked down at my hands. "I feel like such a loser.."

"Li, you have absolutely no right to feel like a loser."

"Yes I do."

"No, you don't." Takato sat down in one of the visitor chairs next to the bed. "Not only were you raped, but you were raped by some you knew and trusted. I'm amazed you're not completely mental."

"I still feel like a loser. I mean, I practically let him lead me into the situation."

"You only followed him because you thought you could trust him."

"..." I sighed and look out the window past him.

"Li-kun.."

Before I could say anything, there was a loud noise, like someone had dropped something. Out side the door, someone was arguing with a nurse, trying to get her to let him see a patient.

"What the hell is going on out there?" Takato stood up, and stared at the door.

"I dunno," I replied as the door opened to reveal an all-too-familiar face.

"What on earth is wrong with you people? I was told friends and relatives could see him."

"Yeah, FRIENDS and RELATIVES." The nurse replied. "I don't think that the person who put him in this state is welcome, however."

"Just what hell are you talking about?"

I just stared at them, too scared to even think. Takato looked about ready to kill them both.

"Well, the kid seems to think that you did it." The nurse stated.

He just stared at her. "What do you mean, he thinks I did it?"

"Just that, sir. Now I'm sorry, but until your name is cleared, you won't be allowed to see the patient."

He stared at her again, dumbfounded and unable to think of a good  comeback, it seemed. He was either feeling really guilty, or really clueless, I think. He stood there for a moment, then turned sharply nd left. He was clearly mad.

Good. I hope he's mad, upset, torn up inside over what he did to me. Not that he could feel a tenth of the pain I'm in..

"Li-kun?"

"Huh..oh."

"He's gone. You can open your eyes now," Takato smiled amusedly at me.

"Oh," I looked past him, at the door, which was now closed. "I wonder what he wanted.."

"You actually want to know?"

"Well, I'm a little curious.."

Takato shook his head in mock sadness. "Yare, yare, Li-kun...:"

I smiled, though it felt like a sad kind of smile. But it still felt good to know that I could still smile. Takato noticed.

"I didn't know you could smile," he was teasing me now.

"Shut up, Takato-kun."

"Ouch," he winched melodramitically. I sent him dirty look.

"I'm not in the mood," I turned my face down towards the sheets. I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry. It was a sick kind of feeling, knowing that I wanted to both laugh at my ill fate and cry over it. I looked back up at Takato, who was now gazing at me concerned and anxiously.

"I'm sorry, Li-kun," he whispered. "I guess I still haven't realized that I have absolutely no idea how much pain you're in."

"At lest you realize you stepped out of line," I stared up at the ceiling, then glanced back at him. I blinked in surprise; his shoulders where trembling a bit and his face was screwed up like he was working hard at not crying. "Takato-kun.."

"Don't worry about me. I'm just worried bout you, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Takato looked down, his expression softening into a thoughtful smile. "Stop acting so selfless. Its starting to piss me off."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Stop giving me orders."

He chuckled, and shook his head again. "You're hopeless."

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A/N: Well, there ya go. Chapter 1 is finished. I hope it isn't TOO disturbing. I don't plan on the dreams ever being more graphic than that.


	2. If My Mind Would Just Stop Racing

A/N: Well, Its not quite as long as the last chapter, but that mostly due to there being less dialogue and no page-long dream sequence. One major thing to note about this chapter is the change in POV. This is a Yamaki chapter. Not quite as exciting as Li, maybe, but a lot more twisted, and hard as that might be to fathom. Yamaki might be a little OOC in this, but I'm not really sure. Also, I set his age at 35, since I don't recall him having a real age in the show. And if he's 35 here, that would make him 27 in the show, which seems about right to me. He was supposed to be pretty young, after all. Anyways, things get a lot more, well, weird from this point. I warn you now, so if anyone is offended by anything that happens from this point on, well, you had the chance to turn back.

Oh, and Yamaki and Reiko live together for the purposes of this story. ^__^ I don't think that should bother anyone, though.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. I really hope you were smart enough to know that before I said it...

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Somewhere in Between

Chapter 2

The kids thinks I did it. It wouldn't have been such a big deal to me, I don't think, if those words didn't bring back memories I'd rather not be reminded of. And as much as I would have liked to ponder the subject, and maybe wallow in cluelessness, it was very clear that I didn't have time to. Even when I was alone on the train, distractions followed. This time the distraction came in the form of the beeping of my phone. I had no choice but to answer when I saw who it was.

"Moshi mo-"

I was cut off by her calm, yet somehow irrational words. "Don't even think about being casual, Yamaki."

I hung my head, regardless of the fact that I was speaking to her over the phone. "Reiko, I swear, I have no idea what is going on."

"Oh, I'm sure you don't," she sounded more than a little sarcastic.

"I don't," I was being honest, but I knew she wasn't buying it.

"Oh, yeah, one more thing," she paused for a moment, like she was trying to find something. "I was collecting the trash from the bathroom this morning, and I found something..interesting.."

"Interesting?" I bit my lip. I couldn't remember throwing anything strange away recently.

"A prescription bottle," she said curtly. "A very new bottle, barely touched."

I contemplated this. It wasn't something I remembered throwing away. But..it was vaguely familiar, like something from a dream. "Okay..a prescription bottle?"

"With your name on it," she seemed almost..worried. But the worry was lost in her combined curiosity and anger. "Tell me, who would throw your drugs away besides you?"

"I..I don't know," I knew this should mean something to me, but I couldn't figure out what.

"Well then can you tell me why they were in the trash?"

"If I don't know who put them there, how the hell do you expect me to know why?"

"Ohh...I don't know," I could almost hear her biting her lip over the phone. "I just..can we finish this when you get home?"

"Yeah, sure," I almost felt myself fall away from the reality of everything that was happening. "I'll see you then."

"Bye, Yamaki." Click.

"Yeah bye," I said to the dial tone. I clicked my phone off and put it away. I wondered what kind of prescription it was, since she hadn't mentioned it. I decided she must not have known herself, since that would have most likely affected the mood of the conversation.

When I got home, she was sitting on the couch, arms crossed with an displeased look on her face. Her expression became even more troubled when she saw me come in.

"I'm..home," I gulped a little and walked into the room.

"I can see that," she stared at me evenly, unfolded her arms, and revealed the bottle she had been hiding in them. Before I could say anything, she flung the bottle at me.

"Ah-" I looked at the bottle. "This is.."

She raised an eyebrow. "This is..?"

"Its..well, its not important," I was lying, and I could tell she knew it.

"I'm sure," she sent me an unconvinced look. "Can you at least tell me what the prescription is for?"

"I..well, I guess," I tore my eyes away from the bottle, and walked over to the couch, sitting down heavily next to her. "Its for..depression."

"Depression?"

"Uhm," I looked at her, feeling a little embarrassed. I hadn't wanted her to know about this. "Yeah.."

"Hmm," she looked thoughtful for a moment, then turned to look at me. "Well, that's not such a strange thing, I suppose."

"Although I still can't think of how it could have found its way into the trash," I tried to remember the last time I had had it out. I realized I had missed two days worth of doses, and I had no idea how. The more I tried to remember, the less there seemed to be to remember. I found that I couldn't remember anything about waking up that morning, or the two days preceding it. I realized then that Reiko was looking at me, probably wondering where I had drifted off to.

"Can you remember anything?"

"No..I can't. I can't remember one damned thing," I didn't look at her. I had a feeling the look in my eyes at that moment might scare her a little. "Its..probably nothing, so can we just..forget this happened?"

"I..suppose," she looked uncertain, but agreed anyways. "No real harm was done, I guess."

I nodded. She stood up uneasily, and turned to face me. "I'm going out now..I'll see you later."

"Okay," I watched her leave, then went back to trying to make sense out of the events of the past few days. I had this sickening feeling that the reason my pills ended up where they had was somehow linked to what had happened to that kid. I tried again and again to remember the past few mornings to no avail. And the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like those mornings just..hadn't happened. That was a scary thought, but what scared me even more was that I knew it had happened before. I'd be one place, blink, and find myself somewhere else, sometimes I even found myself in places I didn't recognize. I stopped trying to remember the mornings, and instead tried to remember where I had been the night the kid was raped. I couldn't remember anything, except finding myself in a place I didn't remember going to. A place way too close to where the kid had be raped to be a simple coincidence. That brought the realization I had been dreading to mind.

I did it. I broke his arm, raped him, nearly killed him, and I didn't even remember doing it.

And I still had no idea what the hell was going on, what or why these things were happening to me, or even how. I knew something wasn't right, something beyond simple depression like the shrink had said, but what? What was going on inside my head that I wasn't aware of? And, worse yet, what might it cause me to do next?

_I'm thirty-five_, I remember thinking. _Shouldn't I have a batter hold on my own sanity by now?___


End file.
